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Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sacrifice

Wow.

Tonight's sermon at church was on sacrifice. Pastor Andy started with a look back at a dark hour in the history of Texas... the Alamo.  One of my favorite legends of the Alamo was of William B. Travis drawing a line in the sand with his sword.  All but one chose to sacrifice their lives for the cause of the Alamo, and by doing so, gave Sam Houston time to rally and gather enough troops to defeat Santa Ana.  Travis' one sacrifice gave birth to the Republic of Texas.

Likewise, Jesus' death on the cross gave rise to millions of believers through the centuries.  Pastor Andy remarked at the paradox of the Gospel starting with death before life.

I had to examine my life for a minute before we took the Lord's Supper.  Am I a disciple, sacrificing my life so that it would be replaced by eternal life through Christ?  Or am I a groupie like the Greeks in John 12:20, who just came to get an autograph and see some cool miracles? I'm not so low that I'd consider myself a groupie by any means.  I'd most definitely not hesitate to cross the line in the sand for the sake of Christ.  But is that enough?

After the Lord's Supper, as the worship music played on, I still wrestled with that thought.  One song faded to another.  A lyric spoke of surrendering dreams.  A light went off in my head, illuminating a picture in the gallery of my mind.  London.  My dream.  My wish.  But, my will.

I knew what had to be done.  Back down the stairs I went to the front, grabbed a candle, lit it, and moved to the stage that was crowded with other candles showing God's movement in many lives.  There I knelt, and there I prayed, sacrificing my life long dream of moving to London.  It was like ripping off a bandaid really fast.  The march back up the stairs to my seat were numb.

5...
4...
Pastor Andy started to pray the benediction...
2...
1...

The dam burst and out came the tears of grief for a dream sacrificed.  A dream that may or may not have been in the cards for me, but given to God because it wouldn't be possible at all without Him.  My prayer was not only that of sacrifice but also for illumination to the path I'm walking.  Where will the wind blow me?  Dallas? Nashville?  Seattle?  Tokyo?  Or will my sacrificed dream return fulfilled?  Only God knows.

Not my will, but God's.  I will follow the path He leads me on and wherever it will take me.